Child custody battle is a tough part of divorce for parents with a child or children. This is even worse if you have more than one kid. When battling in the court, you need to use facts and figures to help the judge decide in your favor. But it is quite often that parents tend to lie and indulge in some other negative activities that cause them to lose their child. This is why hiring a child custody attorney and following their advice is critical. Below are the things you need to avoid when battling for child custody so that your case is strong enough.

Negative Speech About The Other Parent

One thing you should keep in mind while battling for your child in court is that your actions and words can deeply affect your kid. You may think they are not able to understand what you are saying but the tone and body language can cause emotional distress.

Kids are kids for a reason but they rely on their parents for emotional support. So, if you tend to become angry or come up with false accusations and blame games, your child may perceive it as a negative thing. Even if you are right, the child, especially the court, is going to take it negatively and may rule against you.

Courts give everybody the equal opportunity to speak, which means you should be smart and wise with the opportunities provided. It is estimated that approximately 30% of custody cases involve allegations of abuse. At such a young age, kids are not able to decide who is wrong or right let alone the entire situation.

So, while it can be tough, you need to be patient and avoid jumping into arguments or discussions that are meant to provoke or bring down the other parent.

Don’t Lie In Child Custody Court

While battling in court, you need to understand that the court can easily dig up any lies that you come up with. For some reason, parents think they can use self-made stories and make the judge rule in their favor while it doesn’t take long for them to debunk the lies.

If you lie in family court and get caught, you are less likely to be favored for the child than the other parent. You need to think of it as an advantage you are offering for free to the other parent. They, without having to argue, will get the child simply because you chose to lie and get caught.

Plus, the judge also goes through all the details and evidence. Based on all the information presented in the court, if anything is found tempered or formatted, the judge will not only rule against you but also make you pay for the other parent’s legal fees.

Don’t Refuse To Participate In The Case

It has often been the case where parents were asked to visit the court and participate in the case but they don’t. Sometimes, it can be difficult to attend the courts considering strict schedules and all but if you are able to take out the time, you should participate in the case.

It might take a few weeks to a few months for the case to be over and it can be tempting to ignore the case altogether but not taking part will cause you to miss out on time with your child. If you are not interested in the case, the court will rule in favor of the other parent by default and ask you to pay whatever they demand of you.

During the case, the court will send you notices to make sure you reach the court on time and date. If you ignore or miss out on these things, the court might end up dismissing your case. Make sure you don’t leave the state or city for extended periods as these documents are typically sent to your last workplace or address. If you do have to leave the city, state, or country for work or any other reason, then consult your divorce attorney Fairfax VA first.

Don’t Abuse Alcohol Or Drugs

An easy way to lose a child custody battle is by abusing alcohol or drugs. Another major factor you need to keep in mind as a parent is that your child will not be able to forget whatever you do while you are drunk or on drugs. Children don’t forget that easily. What they have seen at a young age, does not go away even if they want it to.

So, while you are in the process of battling in court, you should not even go near any alcohol or drugs. In such cases, you will not be able to cope with your child’s needs as you will be solely dependent on the substance itself. So, you need to prove to the court that you are a fit parent who can take care of your child.

Don’t Withhold Your Child

Withholding your child is a tricky situation. Keeping your child away from or meeting the other parent especially if they present danger is logical. But, if there is no logical reason for you to keep your child away, you should not withhold them. Keep in mind that you’re divorcing your spouse, but he/she is still the parent of your child.

Children are a lot more emotional at this stage. They are innocent in the sense that they have feelings for both parents regardless of whatever is going on. So, if they tend to miss the other parent, you should try to set up a meeting and ensure they do not blame you when they get older. Then again, if there is a serious reason you are choosing to keep them away, you should, but be calm and patient while making your child understand.

Don’t Bring A New Partner Into Your Child’s Life

Because your child is most probably going to be fragile at this point, you should avoid bringing a new partner into their lives. A new partner could confuse and result in anger and confusion, which is the worst state a child can be in at this stage. It might be perceived as you are trying to replace the current parent with someone else.

If you do have a new partner, you should not involve them in the case. Judges often frown upon parents who bring new partners to the court with them because it might cause distraction. Out of court, try to keep your interactions with the new partner as minimal as possible. Any confrontations at this point could help your ex’s case.

Don’t Manipulate The Child

Manipulating the child can cause serious and permanent changes to their personality. While in court or out of court, you should not play around with the feelings or try to use lies and other negative factors to turn the child against the other parent. Such tactics can damage your relationship with the child let alone the other parent.

There is nothing worse than a child not being able to trust both parents. Instead, during the process, you should value the feelings of your child and help them counter them. Do not attempt to take advantage of their feelings as they will blame you later on. Assure your child that both parents love them and the custody process will ensure their well-being.

Conclusion

Battling in the court for a child can be both physically and mentally challenging. But you need to keep calm and follow the tips mentioned above. Make sure you are always prepared and avoid using any tactics that may seem wrong. Consult a child custody lawyer Fairfax VA to avoid common mistakes. Remember, the child custody process is going to be a lot more difficult for your child than you, parents. And, the child will have questions when they grow up, for which you will need to have answers as well. So, be careful!